Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
