well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
worst night to have a conscience
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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