rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
