ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
