If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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