Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
