I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
