Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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