I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Randomize
