i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
