So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
