Do you still have your period?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
