What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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