Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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