There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
