I wish I could teleport
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
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