My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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