question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
