Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
