You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
