you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
