I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
