Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
