Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh god it's open bar.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
