Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize