so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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