I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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