I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
