I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
