Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
40s are totally the cure
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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