No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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