I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
