They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
