Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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