You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize