It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
