I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize