Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
