Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
