i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
