She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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