Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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