So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
