Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
