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• (914): View more from New York

  This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.

  (1-914): View more from New York

  maybe it's her son

  (914): View more from New York

  thats not any better.

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• (760): View more from California

  i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.

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• (450): View more from Quebec

  I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober

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• (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

  (1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

  welcome to the club.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.

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• (925): View more from California

  You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.

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• (956): View more from Texas

  So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him

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