ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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