Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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