No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
