Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
