Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
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