is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
