New invention idea: vibrating tampons
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
How's work?
Spinning.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
