No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
