When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Randomize
