I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
