it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
