so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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