If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
