guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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