I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
