Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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