You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
