i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
