girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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