oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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