508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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