i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Come on in and take your pants off
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