and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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