we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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