i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
