I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
