Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize
