I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
