There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
