We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize