What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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