You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize