so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I think we might need a safe word for this...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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