Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
